Crazy World

"...full of crazy contradictions like a child..." That's from the song Crazy World (VICTOR/VICTORIA).

So...as any of you who know me, I'm always on a constant roller-coaster and quite frankly seem to function better riding the highs and lows. But lately, the train seems to have stopped in a dip. I feel that for the past couple months I have been in a bit of a "minimal functioning funk." I find myself constantly drawn to waste time on things that are not good for me, I haven't been writing, or auditioning much and I keep wondering when ALL the irons I have in the fire (or as I now like to say...the cold furnace) spark something? I mean it's getting down to the wire in terms of my finances and living situation and of course that stresses me out even more so that I find myself not doing what I need to do.

Today, finally, was a first step back up the track of that big hill...I went to three auditions and have some appointments and a call-back later this week. But I always have this panging feeling of uncertainty and fear. At my age shouldn't I be over all that by now?

I feel I continue to give better and better auditions (when I actually go) because I feel confident in what I am bringing into the room, prepared and rarely nervous or desparate. But today for example, all of that went out the door and I felt like some nervous teenager again. And I think part of that comes from the fact that I AM getting a bit more desparate (I really need this job).

Well, I knew what I was getting back into when I came back to the biz full-time last year...so I guess whining is pointless.

Enough of the contradictions, I would like some consistancy please. Thank you.

More and more steps each day...

So each day that I find myself "back in the business" full time, is, for the moment, pretty exciting. Today I activated my own website http://www.patrickriviere.com/. It is not "up & running" yet, but it will be very soon and I am really excited about the way it's coming together. Thank you Michael!

I've also put my commercial mailing together to send out tomorrow and have narrowed down my search to find a new "legit" agent as well.

I've had two great auditions in the past week and...on Wednesday...I have THREE auditions, and then two on Friday! Not too bad. So here's hoping. Send me those good vibes on Wednesday!!!

Also, a quick shout out to the New York Yankees! I've loved them since I was a kid and my Mom would talk about her and her dad listening to games on the radio. Now, having gone to Yankee Stadium for some games, I know what the whole "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" is all about - of course it's about the money, but there is something deeper than that, in the team spirit, in rooting for something, cheering for someone or something to succeed. And then just the simple pleasure of a hot dog, a beer...it can be magical. OK...you think I am nuts, but if you didn't know that by now, you haven't been reading much of my blog! And since we're on sports I am also a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan (sad as that may seem to some). When you grew up an hour away, it was sort of a prerequisite.

In any case, here is a little something for all you Yankee Fans...

http://www.pinstripealley.com/

http://web.yesnetwork.com/index.jsp