Losses come in all shapes and sizes

Well...both my teams lost tonight - the Yankees are out of it for the season and perhaps Joe Torre, a great manager, will be booted from the Bronx. Maybe worse was the complete last minute debacle of the Buffalo Bills who had the game won. "Not again!" I keep thinking. It's funny that I can get so wrapped up in a sporting event - pinning my hopes and emotions on something really intangible. And yet, when I am rooting, shouting and believing, it seems as important as anything. I would think that to be a healthy ritual, and yet, when my hopes are dashed...when my cheers turn to jeers, I find myself depressed - literally. And that can't be good. I guess I want to back winners so that I can feel like I'm a winner. Does that make any sense? I know that I have had success in so many things during my life but I have also had intense failure and obviously, as we all do, very personal loss.

I guess, that in the past year or so, I have been particularly sensitive to failure. I feel that ASTC has failed (for the most part); my 14 year relationship has failed and I often feel so alone; feelings for others always seem to be dashed when they don't feel the same; career opportunities pass me by; I find myself making irrational or maybe more accurately, rash choices.

It's funny. Whenever I am feeling any sort of extreme emotion (which is most of the time - I mean have I ever had an even-keeled moment in my life?) I always turn to music as my solace. When I am really joyful I want to sing and when I am really depressed I want to sing.

So tonight, I turned to one of my favorite groups from the past: THE LITTLE RIVER BAND. Usually, when I am down and out, I like to listen to music that many would find depressing. But actually, knowing that someone else has felt the way I do, always gives me hope.

I share these two songs with you from YouTube...I really love them - the first is really how I am feeling lately. "I'm getting lost in the crowd...hear me crying out loud. Just want you to know, I know that you had to go. It's all up to you but whatever you do, take it easy on me." The second is actually sung by Player singer, Peter Beckett. And there are other great hits by this group - click their name above to go to their official website and you'll be amazed at all the hits they had and hopefully you'll be REMINISCING!

TAKE IT EASY ON ME

BABY COME BACK

More and more steps each day...

So each day that I find myself "back in the business" full time, is, for the moment, pretty exciting. Today I activated my own website http://www.patrickriviere.com/. It is not "up & running" yet, but it will be very soon and I am really excited about the way it's coming together. Thank you Michael!

I've also put my commercial mailing together to send out tomorrow and have narrowed down my search to find a new "legit" agent as well.

I've had two great auditions in the past week and...on Wednesday...I have THREE auditions, and then two on Friday! Not too bad. So here's hoping. Send me those good vibes on Wednesday!!!

Also, a quick shout out to the New York Yankees! I've loved them since I was a kid and my Mom would talk about her and her dad listening to games on the radio. Now, having gone to Yankee Stadium for some games, I know what the whole "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" is all about - of course it's about the money, but there is something deeper than that, in the team spirit, in rooting for something, cheering for someone or something to succeed. And then just the simple pleasure of a hot dog, a beer...it can be magical. OK...you think I am nuts, but if you didn't know that by now, you haven't been reading much of my blog! And since we're on sports I am also a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan (sad as that may seem to some). When you grew up an hour away, it was sort of a prerequisite.

In any case, here is a little something for all you Yankee Fans...

http://www.pinstripealley.com/

http://web.yesnetwork.com/index.jsp