It's been awhile...

Clearly it has been a long time since I have posted anything. It's been a crazy time these past few months (since before the New Year really). Just thought I would post a quick update with the most major news:

1). I moved out of the house and am now living in a small apartment on my own (although currently, I have a friend staying with me until June to help pay the rent!)

2). I am still unemployed and looking for work in a variety of arenas although certainly I would love to be in a show!

3). I spend WAY too much time on Facebook!

4). I have been selling giclee prints of my Mom's paintings which I will share on here soon. You can also see them at MAMA GEN'S PAINTINGS

5). I am taking several short getaway trips this Spring and early Summer to try and put it all in perspective.

6). I am working on a concept for a musical review tentatively titled: VAUDEVILLE AIN'T DEAD: SOME PEOPLE LIKE IT BIG!

7). I'm still here!

I'm in Beach Haven...

and rehearsals have begun! It's a rather large cast and a BIG show but my role is not so HUGE that I have to feel overwhelmed with only 9 days of rehearsal. Really great actors playing George and Mary (Mary is being played by a great gal that I did ANYTHING GOES with a couple years ago) and the rest of the cast seems strong as well. I have a song/dance number in Act 1 called "Wings," which I think is going to be very cute. Well...not much more to report. Weather is kinda gray here, with a few showers, but at least it isn't pouring rain right now.

Group living is always interesting, but since I am in the house with most of the AEA (union) folks, and we make up most of the older members of the cast, it is fine.

I was thinking today, that in most other professions, you never live communally - sharing a kitchen and bathroom with 6 other people. Most of the people who I know outside of the acting world, wouldn't live this way again in a million years. Most of them did something like it in College (although I would wager a bet that most dorm rooms are in better shape) and wouldn't want to revisit that.

For me, there is something nice about it. Certainly strange after not having done it in a long while - but almost like a "reconnection" to simple roots.

After all, most of us, in the "rank and file" of performing, do what we do because we love it - not for the money, or the housing or the food. Let's hope not, because most of the time, none of those things are in abundance.

Will try to post a rehearsal log when I have more to report.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

Waiting for it...

I have been waiting ... quietly (unlike me, I know) for something, anything really, to wake me from this dull sense that I am in a trance. You see, after the final curtain fell, I was alone again - an unhappy minstrel without his voice, without his song ... without his muse. That event is inevitable in this crazy business we call "show," and it repeats itself over and over and over again like some cruel joke - somehow each time taking a bit more of my soul it seems. And yet I am constantly drawn back for more: more life, more excitement, more growth, more connection, more love and pain and harmony and discord and ultimately, a kind of death. But under those lights, with the players, I am transformed - no, truthfully, I am alive, not just existing but really alive. How ironic it must seem to you - as I am taking on someone else, another character, one who is not me. And yet, I know, that all of them, whomever I "play," is another part of me. I get to express the fullness of me you see - I get to find more of me. I think only in those moments of that process am I really tasting the truth of life's essence; I am present with eyes and mind open, lungs fully expanded, ready to face it all - soaking it in like a sponge; throwing myself off the cliff of expression and daring to challenge myself for something more. So when it is finished (as it always is) I am distraught. Maybe the only other connection that brings this life can be found in true love. But alas, I have had it and lost it and found it now with another who does not share it. And so I wait ... for an answer - for a call - for the news - for the map - for the voice - for the words - for, "You are the one that I have been waiting for!"

It's a new day!

Even though life is often difficult and challenges abound, it is never too late to begin again, to start over, to take a new road or step into a different light. A few years ago I was afraid to start again, or try again, or approach at a different angle. This past year has brought me some tempered patience and a more mature approach to life. It's about time don't ya think? And with that renewed hope I step into another chapter of my life. Now...before I get lost in this comfort zone, I won't fool myself or anyone reading into thinking I have found nirvana. I am fully aware that tomorrow may find me in shadows and confusion...but I trust that I am coming to a place in which I can handle it just a bit better and find my out just a bit easier.

I have made the decision to stay at JDRF and will work two days at the office and two at home. I am happy with this decision as I do respect Dr. G and feel this situation will allow me the extra time I need to work on ASTC and to write.

Rehearsals for Mass Appeal are GREAT! It is so wonderful to be working on a play again after so long. Michael Menger is an amazing director - you can find him at www.michaelmenger.com
and my co-worker at JDRF (and more importantly my friend) Jim Richard, is so terrific as Mark Dolson. I feel so alive when we're working together - I am grateful.

I have also met someone...taking it VERY slow, but it is nice to have possibilities. I've already been picking lots of zucchini from the garden and some rasberries as well. Looking forward to the tomatoes and cucumbers.

I plan to post another one of my poems from the book, along with another one of my Mom's paintings in the next week so stay tuned...and hopefully I will have some of her art for sale really soon.

Don't forget to visit www.allseasonstheatre.org to find out all about the show!