Tis the Season

It's that time of year...
I find myself a bit overwhelmed between Thanksgiving and Christmas each year as we prepare for our annual holiday party - the house decked to the hilt and we cook all the food ourselves. Normally attended by at least 40 or 50 friends, family and colleagues it is a big bash to be sure. Our front lawn is bright enough to be seen from outer space (as one of my friend's said) and preparing all of the inside decorations and of course the menu, keeps me a bit stressed. Add to that my insane need for everything to be perfect, and well, you can imagine the energy. David thinks I am crazy and often fights with me about it, letting me know in no uncertain terms that I am "ruining the fun of it" and "acting like a scrooge." In truth, I have always loved this time of year, but must admit that maybe i have gotten a bit too wrapped up in the commercialism of it all and throwing the biggest ass party you can think of! My self analysis leaves me a bit stumped. Maybe it is because I always dreamed of throwing a big party like this when I was little. We had a friend who threw the party of the year and maybe I envied that she could it, I don't know. Maybe it is because we've been doing them for 10 years and I don't want the current one to be less than the one before - I don't want people to be disappointed or say, "Gee, where is this?" or "I missed the cookies this year." I know it is silly. If people are coming just for free food and booze then they are really not worth having over. I am really trying to let go of some of my need to control everything and be so rigid and such a perfectionist. It does ruin the fun and I should be enjoying it all a bit more. I have begun, over the past few years, to at least enjoy the party itself. And this year, I even let David decorate most of the tree - in the past if he got to put on 5 ornaments he was lucky. So maybe, as I get a older, I am indeed getting a wee bit wiser. In any case, I can honestly say that I am grateful for all that I have and all that has been given to me - and some of the best stuff has no price tag and you can't get it in any store.