I think that is what life is really about...figuring out what's next. Hopefully we're taking things with us from what is past, what has just been experienced, what just "was." And hopefully we are learning as much as we can as we go, but it really does seem like it's always about the NEXT thing, the next day, the next show, the next audition, the next meal, the next time we can sleep. And are we ever content?
I suppose i am becoming a bit contemplative, and yes, trying to figure out "what's next?" because the show I'm doing is closing in two more performances. It has been a bit of a wild ride to say the least, but I loved the director and my fellow actors - not only within the context of the piece, but as people. In any event, now that the closing is a week away, those feelings of loss are already starting to creep in - and maybe worse, those feelings of uncertainty about what lies ahead. I think I've learned some things about myself during this process so that is good, and I hope I can say I have made some lasting friends. I would love to believe the show will have a life after this, but I dare not rest my hopes on such a notion for fear of jinxing that very possibility.
In any case, I'm having trouble sleeping and part of it comes from the fact that I am wondering...what's next?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Starting over again
How does one begin again? I mean, how do you really go back to square one with your life? Can you really? I don't think so. But you can get a fresh look, a new start, a different perspective...choose a new path. Sometimes it is with one part of your life, one aspect that needs changing or feels like it's time to start over.
In any event, my life has come to such a crossroads. After almost 15 years living with David I am moving out. I've been saying it for two years so it almost doesn't seem real. I left the "real" job last October to give my career another chance and now, it's just time for me to move on. I've been making the excuse that it's money that keeps me here, and the house, and how much I put into it. And that is probably why I did stay. That and the fact that sometimes the misery you know is better than the misery you don't know - or at least you convince yourself that that is the truth.
September 1 is my deadline. Shows I'm working on close in August...I'm taking a week to go to P-Town by myself and then I have to come back and get myself packed to go somewhere. Where? That's the big question. My credit rating has got to be in the toilet, I don't own anything other than my 10-year-old Toyota, my unemployment will run out soon and unless I get a really good paying gig, I may have to go back to an office (which I promised myself I wouldn't do - at least not this soon).
So where does that leave me? I have no idea...
Starting over again can be scary. But sometimes it is necessary and I believe it can open up a world of possibilities. I have to believe that...I have to.
Here's to new life, to new adventures, to new starts.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
What The F*** Is Your Problem Post 2
Friday, June 13, 2008
What the f*** is your problem (cell phones)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
So what the f*** is your problem? WHY do you insist on talking on your cell phone on public transporation as if you were at a rock concert? The bus is not your private limo...no. That is why it is called PUBLIC transportation. Lots of other people are on there who could give a shit about your upcoming operation to suck fat out of your ass and inject it in your lips. Nor do we care to hear about the puss filled wart that your grandma had to have drained, or the cat next door that got hit by the mailman and you had to move the dead carcass with flies to the garbage. Moreover, why do you feel it necessary to shout all of your destinations for the day and what time you will be at each place. Don't you think that's a bit dangerous? Maybe there is a psycho killer on the bus who now knows you are going to be at the 79th street subway station at 10PM BECAUSE YOU JUST SCREAMED IT TO HIM! Please have consideration for your fellow passengers and talk a bit softer. Damn! When I speak on my cell on a bus, I cover the handset and basically whisper. It makes sense. I want to keep my conversation private and I don't want to bother you. Give me the same respect in return. What did you people do before cell phones? I remember when they hadn't even invented answering machines. The phone just rang and rang and you called back or wrote the person a letter. If you were worried...ROAD TRIP, or if the line was busy for too long, you asked the operator to cut in. I'd certainly like to cut in on some of your load-mouth calls and say...shut the f*** up! Now I understand they are working on technology to allow everyone to use their cell phones when flying. Can you imagine? It would be like a flying high school cafeteria! Lord help us!
What the f*** is your problem (cell phones)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
So what the f*** is your problem? WHY do you insist on talking on your cell phone on public transporation as if you were at a rock concert? The bus is not your private limo...no. That is why it is called PUBLIC transportation. Lots of other people are on there who could give a shit about your upcoming operation to suck fat out of your ass and inject it in your lips. Nor do we care to hear about the puss filled wart that your grandma had to have drained, or the cat next door that got hit by the mailman and you had to move the dead carcass with flies to the garbage. Moreover, why do you feel it necessary to shout all of your destinations for the day and what time you will be at each place. Don't you think that's a bit dangerous? Maybe there is a psycho killer on the bus who now knows you are going to be at the 79th street subway station at 10PM BECAUSE YOU JUST SCREAMED IT TO HIM! Please have consideration for your fellow passengers and talk a bit softer. Damn! When I speak on my cell on a bus, I cover the handset and basically whisper. It makes sense. I want to keep my conversation private and I don't want to bother you. Give me the same respect in return. What did you people do before cell phones? I remember when they hadn't even invented answering machines. The phone just rang and rang and you called back or wrote the person a letter. If you were worried...ROAD TRIP, or if the line was busy for too long, you asked the operator to cut in. I'd certainly like to cut in on some of your load-mouth calls and say...shut the f*** up! Now I understand they are working on technology to allow everyone to use their cell phones when flying. Can you imagine? It would be like a flying high school cafeteria! Lord help us!
What The F*** Is Your Problem Post (from my other blog)
Monday, April 07, 2008
What the f*** is your problem? (walking/driving)
Current mood: annoyed
So...I've decided to start a new series of posts, and yes, I am calling it: What the f*** is your problem? I had a really rough week and sent an email to some of my closest friends saying I was writing a new book with that line as my subtitle. But I've decided that instead of writing a book, I am going to just use the title for a series of blogs - and then, maybe the book will write itself (so to speak).
So here goes...my first entry for...
WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Why is it that I always find you walking in front of me at a turtle's pace on a gray, cold day, in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City? Have you no urgency in your step? It's not a balmy summer's day, it's chilly and miserable out. Don't you have somewhere to be or someplace to go? Now granted, my mother was always telling me to "stop and smell the roses," but come on people, in the middle of the day in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. I'm all for daudling when I'm in a park, or at the museum, or in the country, or in Paris, but give me a break. If you want to meander in the busy sidewalks of Manhattan, with no intention of going anywhere, at least pull yourself to the side or enter a building or something. And this is not intended for tourists or homeless people or disabled people...you I can forgive. It is the NYC regulars who are just doing this to PISS ME OFF. And I attract you don't I? I'm in a hurry to get to a meeting, or a rehearsal or a performance or a dinner party (but to be truthful, when I am walking, I like to move the journey along even when I'm not in a hurry) and you find yourself to my path and go as slowly as you can, normally in a situation where I can't even go around you. And more often then not, you stop at some point and I almost smash into you. So please, do me a favor, walk with a little pace in your step. I know you have places to go, home to the family; off to a meeting; catching the subway to a game or parade or street fair; to a class; to a trist, to a figtht; to a rally...whatever. Just go there. Oh, and while I'm on the "people who literally cross my path subject"...if you're coming towards me, please, oh please, let's try and pass eachother on the left. We're not in Europe. Notice the roads, notice the escalators...we pass eachother on the left, whenever possible. And if you choose to force me to pass on the right and then swear at me or huff at me as if I am in your way...I may just turn around and smack you. All of this however...leads immediately to my second, WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?
You are the same people who drive 150 miles per hour aren't you? No, I mean it. You walk like turtles to your cars and then you have to make up for lost time so you talegate me, whip around me at speeds that should be reserved for the Daytona 500 or when you're playing video games, and then you throw yourself in front of me without even touching your directional signal. And almost ALWAYS, I pull up next you, or behind you at the next light, or when the traffic clogs. You didn't get there any quicker than I did, but you endagered my life, your life and countless others. Why must you try and prove you are Mario Andretti when you drive? Speed limits have a purpose. Don't get me wrong...if we're in a 55 and I'm going 57 and you come up behind me, keep your distance, change lanes with your signal and go around me at 60, I can live with that. But when you race up behind me at 85, flash your lights and then play "poll position" on the highway...I secretly hope that you will be the car I pass, pulled over by the cops or off in the ditch. I don't want you to get hurt, just scared a little. Now most of us have sped from time to time. God knows I have. But even when I speed, I try to be careful and courteous of those on the road and I really try NOT to speed. Maybe if you walked a little faster, you could drive the speed limit and it would be a win-win situation!
What the f*** is your problem? (walking/driving)
Current mood: annoyed
So...I've decided to start a new series of posts, and yes, I am calling it: What the f*** is your problem? I had a really rough week and sent an email to some of my closest friends saying I was writing a new book with that line as my subtitle. But I've decided that instead of writing a book, I am going to just use the title for a series of blogs - and then, maybe the book will write itself (so to speak).
So here goes...my first entry for...
WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Why is it that I always find you walking in front of me at a turtle's pace on a gray, cold day, in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City? Have you no urgency in your step? It's not a balmy summer's day, it's chilly and miserable out. Don't you have somewhere to be or someplace to go? Now granted, my mother was always telling me to "stop and smell the roses," but come on people, in the middle of the day in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. I'm all for daudling when I'm in a park, or at the museum, or in the country, or in Paris, but give me a break. If you want to meander in the busy sidewalks of Manhattan, with no intention of going anywhere, at least pull yourself to the side or enter a building or something. And this is not intended for tourists or homeless people or disabled people...you I can forgive. It is the NYC regulars who are just doing this to PISS ME OFF. And I attract you don't I? I'm in a hurry to get to a meeting, or a rehearsal or a performance or a dinner party (but to be truthful, when I am walking, I like to move the journey along even when I'm not in a hurry) and you find yourself to my path and go as slowly as you can, normally in a situation where I can't even go around you. And more often then not, you stop at some point and I almost smash into you. So please, do me a favor, walk with a little pace in your step. I know you have places to go, home to the family; off to a meeting; catching the subway to a game or parade or street fair; to a class; to a trist, to a figtht; to a rally...whatever. Just go there. Oh, and while I'm on the "people who literally cross my path subject"...if you're coming towards me, please, oh please, let's try and pass eachother on the left. We're not in Europe. Notice the roads, notice the escalators...we pass eachother on the left, whenever possible. And if you choose to force me to pass on the right and then swear at me or huff at me as if I am in your way...I may just turn around and smack you. All of this however...leads immediately to my second, WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?
You are the same people who drive 150 miles per hour aren't you? No, I mean it. You walk like turtles to your cars and then you have to make up for lost time so you talegate me, whip around me at speeds that should be reserved for the Daytona 500 or when you're playing video games, and then you throw yourself in front of me without even touching your directional signal. And almost ALWAYS, I pull up next you, or behind you at the next light, or when the traffic clogs. You didn't get there any quicker than I did, but you endagered my life, your life and countless others. Why must you try and prove you are Mario Andretti when you drive? Speed limits have a purpose. Don't get me wrong...if we're in a 55 and I'm going 57 and you come up behind me, keep your distance, change lanes with your signal and go around me at 60, I can live with that. But when you race up behind me at 85, flash your lights and then play "poll position" on the highway...I secretly hope that you will be the car I pass, pulled over by the cops or off in the ditch. I don't want you to get hurt, just scared a little. Now most of us have sped from time to time. God knows I have. But even when I speed, I try to be careful and courteous of those on the road and I really try NOT to speed. Maybe if you walked a little faster, you could drive the speed limit and it would be a win-win situation!
Monday, July 14, 2008
OPA! opening this Saturday
If you are in the New York City area in the next couple weeks please try to come and see OPA! We're going into tech week tomorrow and opening on Saturday evening the 19th. There is hope the show will have a future after this production (it is being produced in the commercial division of the Midtown International Theatre Festival).OPA!, is a new musical about life and love on a forgotten Grecian isle. The tiny Greek island of Elia has been left off the national map since…forever. When a cruise ship is spotted from a distance heading straight for the island, the villagers band together in a desperate attempt to gain recognition from the outside world, and from each other. The mayhem that ensues ends up helping the villagers ‘see' their hidden selves along the way - the main message being to never hide your true self and to always to live a life of "OPA!" Let the singing and dancing begin. Performances are at The Barrow Group Theatre in Manhattan. For more information and a full schedule visit OPATHEMUSICAL!
I play the role of Manos and have a great little song in Act 2. So that means you CAN'T LEAVE AT INTERMISSION!
See you at the theatre!
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As Snoopy in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown (July 2000)
