Starting over again

How does one begin again? I mean, how do you really go back to square one with your life? Can you really? I don't think so. But you can get a fresh look, a new start, a different perspective...choose a new path. Sometimes it is with one part of your life, one aspect that needs changing or feels like it's time to start over.

In any event, my life has come to such a crossroads. After almost 15 years living with David I am moving out. I've been saying it for two years so it almost doesn't seem real. I left the "real" job last October to give my career another chance and now, it's just time for me to move on. I've been making the excuse that it's money that keeps me here, and the house, and how much I put into it. And that is probably why I did stay. That and the fact that sometimes the misery you know is better than the misery you don't know - or at least you convince yourself that that is the truth.

September 1 is my deadline. Shows I'm working on close in August...I'm taking a week to go to P-Town by myself and then I have to come back and get myself packed to go somewhere. Where? That's the big question. My credit rating has got to be in the toilet, I don't own anything other than my 10-year-old Toyota, my unemployment will run out soon and unless I get a really good paying gig, I may have to go back to an office (which I promised myself I wouldn't do - at least not this soon).

So where does that leave me? I have no idea...

Starting over again can be scary. But sometimes it is necessary and I believe it can open up a world of possibilities. I have to believe that...I have to.

Here's to new life, to new adventures, to new starts.